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[permboy]

Gintoki Sakata 坂田 銀時
#1470
Son



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[permboy]

You're not even sharing a bed. This marriage was doomed from the start.

[ CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE. ]

[bombdemon]

[ GASPS ]

It-- it wasn't always like that! The future used to be so bright! But I suppose we drifted apart after I had gone home...

[ Or, more precisely, he was such an emotional wreck upon returning here that he even refused to play house for a while. Until Gintoki showed up, that is. How could he fraternize with a gorilla when Gintoki back home was possibly dying because he wasn't there to help? But we're not going to talk about that. ]

[permboy]

Zura.

[bombdemon]

It's not Zura, it's Katsura.

[permboy]

[ He turns back around, and pulls Katsura's face closer by the collar. ]

The marriage. Is. Fake. Stop shitting me with the "emotional support" crap in the middle of the night.

[ And then he lets go, and flops down on his back, slinging an arm over his eyes. ]

[bombdemon]

[ STARES RIGHT BACK AT HIM. Not an ounce of fear at the wrath of the great Shiroyasha, just some kind of mild confusion which goes really well with his resting idiot expression. ]

Eh? But I have the contract and everything.

[permboy]

So do I, but no way would me and Miss Bakufu have married voluntarily.

[bombdemon]

There's no need to feel bad. These things happen. Convenience, arranged, shotgun weddings...

[permboy]

The hell was yours, then?

[bombdemon]

Financially inclined.

[ SOMEHOW shitty police chiefs get a pretty handsome salary in all universes. especially when they're not blowing it all on a certain cabaret girl ]

[permboy]

What bullshit.

It was still doomed from the start. It's still fake. Are you gonna leave me be already?

[bombdemon]

Why? It is a perfectly good decision for a lady.








Do you suppose a second child would stoke the flames?

[ FORESHADOWING ]

[permboy]

...

You can't just "get a second child," you dumbass.

[bombdemon]

Desperate housewifes do it all the time.




Though I suppose you have a point. I would not want to get any more tied to him than I already am, and an offspring is a rather big commitment.

[permboy]

No, I mean you don't have the equipment. There's no mpreg here.

[bombdemon]

Do I need to remind you that we had two daughters and a son?

[permboy]

[ He covers his face with his hands and groans. ]

We never slept together, you fucking dumbass.

[bombdemon]

Of course we have. Don't worry, you don't need to gloss it over. That picture book explained everything.

[ sorry that this guy is your best friend, gintoki ]

[permboy]

[ He just. Twists around a bit.

And plants his foot in Katsura's face. ]

Get the fuck out and let me sleep!

[bombdemon]

[ tumbles backwards, slides off the table and crashes into the floor head first. Gintoki will just see his legs from behind the table as he continues calmly, ]

You haven't even patted my back, Gintoki. I don't think I got what I came here for yet.

[permboy]

How long are you gonna keep this bullshit up? I hate you.

[ TURNING HIS BACK TO ZURA AGAIN uuugh. ]

[bombdemon]

What a mean thing to say.

[ Huffs. Oh, he knows a good method to wake Gintoki up. ]

If my marriage does fail, would you consider coming back to me?

[permboy]

[ Not. Answering. HE'S ASLEEP. Or so he wishes. But he can pretend and hope the annoyance goes away.

Not that that's likely to happen. It's Katsura, after all. ]

[bombdemon]

[ He's leaning in to give him a forehead kiss like a good mom. Have fun. ]

[permboy]

[ ???????????????

He pushes Katsura's head away with a confused, strangled noise and sits up to stare at him in bewilderment. ]