[ It's the first time he's seen her angry, which is ... The women he knows are quite often angry. He doesn't react, though he makes a note of it. Of how ... How she's still trying to keep a lid on herself, unlike any woman he's ever met.
It can't be good.
He shakes his head. ]
Because we're men and we're thick. They're just looking out for you in what way they know. It's got nothing to do with whether you're defenceless or not.
Kondo's a samurai. You can't expect him to know better than to punch a guy in the face, sometimes.
[ Since she's apparently not going to let go of the ice pack anyway, he lowers his hand and glances away a little. ]
Besides, I deserved it anyway. Even if it should maybe have come from you.
[hopefully, it's the first, last, and only time he'll ever see it. she's not one to lose her temper, and certainly not over something like this. she believes herself to be a extraordinarily patient woman, after all. (the problem with her logic is that this isn't just about her, or a perceived weakness. this is about gintoki too. it's about protecting someone she cares for.)
her hands shake slightly, her eyes are burning holes into the floor as she listens to him. looking out for her, huh? aren't they all. knights in shining armour for a lady who doesn't want them to pick up their swords on her behalf, but wants them to teach her how to use one herself. a samurai defending her sounds so romantic, and once upon a time, that's all she would've wanted. but this? not what she wanted at all. and if someone would just ask her, for once, what she really wants...]
I appreciate that they're looking out for me, but they should take care of me before picking fights with others.
[once more, she sighs, and even though he's not looking at her, she gazes at him.] You didn't deserve it. There's nothing you've done to me that warrants a bloody nose. Not from Isao, not from Aikuro, and never from me. [she knows why he thinks he deserved that, but it was silly for her to get upset over it in the first place. she was being greedy, she became too attached to someone who didn't want what she did, she let herself be hurt. if anything, she deserves to be punched in the face for making this mess.]
[ There's the softest exhale of a sigh, and he closes his eyes for a moment. Well, this became a very unexpectedly tiring day.
Is it going to end soon? ]
And maybe you thinking that is exactly why they came here. Because if you won't tell me what an ass I am, at least they can.
[ He brings his hands up, this time to grab her wrist with one and the ice pack with the other. Really, he can hold it up himself, so he takes a step back at the same time as he tugs her hand away. ]
That's enough, Milly. I can hold an ice pack myself.
[she doesn't like where this is going. not for a second. she came here to help, not to get reprimanded. what's worse, she keeps feeling like she's a child. someone else fights her battles for her, someone tells her stop when she tries to fight on her own.
keeping her anger in check is becoming increasingly more difficult, and she bristles up at his hand on her wrist. but she holds her tongue, waiting until she can look at him calmly, her voice holding a bit of an edge when she speaks again.]
I would've told you if I thought you were being a prick. Do you think I wouldn't?
[ There he goes, messing it up again. He doesn't mean to reprimand. He just, really, can hold an ice pack himself. And he was starting to feel a little trapped. He'd like to have freedom to move, and not feel like he has to stay lest she hiss at him like a cat or something.
At least he's more familiar with that kind of edge to a voice.
Now he's just confused, though. The gears in his mind are practically visible as he frowns at her. See, he's trying. Trying to figure out how she wouldn't think he was being a prick, because sometimes when he thinks he's done something horrible others don't agree. The thing is, in that case he was intending to be. Sort of. He wanted to let her down as gently as possible but ...
You don't just tell someone you don't want them in some way without them getting hurt from it. And it's not even that he wouldn't want it. Just ... Yeah. Point is, usually he can see the other side.
But now he really just doesn't get it.
So after several long moments, he speaks again. ]
I'm trying to figure out how you could not think I was being a prick, but I'm coming up with nothing.
[ Women.
EVERYBODY BUT YOU THINKS HE WAS BEING A PRICK, MILLY. ]
[she wants to yank her hand away from him, to give him a bit of hell, but that's only going to hurt him. she'll keep those feelings locked up, far far away from view. so he pulls her wrist away slowly, sighing as she crosses her arms and turns her head away from him.
she doesn't want to explain. she doesn't want to make this any worse for him or her own heart... but she might as well get it out.]
Because I was the one that pushed you into doing that. I asked for something you didn't want to give, and instead of handling it like an adult, I let myself get hurt by it.
[but it's not just about sleeping with him again, is it? it's about him casting her aside after she had been so vulnerable with him. that's what hurt her the most. but she had scared him, backed him into a corner. how could she ever blame him for reacting like that?]
You did what you had to do. I'm the one who made everything awful. If anything, I'm the prick.
[ He wishes she would raise hell. Shouldn't she? He's been a dick. But apparently she doesn't think so, and he doesn't ... get it. How did he-- Oh. ]
That's ... not really what ...
[ Sigh.
He turns away, opening the fridge to dig out a carton of strawberry milk. ]
How were you supposed to read my mind? Look, maybe it could have gone differently. Maybe we could have both handled it some other way, I dunno. But you're not a prick for asking.
[ Sure, it had scared him but ... That's not her fault.
He puts down the ice pack long enough to open the carton and stick a straw in there. ]
My reaction isn't your fault.
[ It's so many other things, all piled up in a mess. Like everything he is. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It can't be good.
He shakes his head. ]
Because we're men and we're thick. They're just looking out for you in what way they know. It's got nothing to do with whether you're defenceless or not.
Kondo's a samurai. You can't expect him to know better than to punch a guy in the face, sometimes.
[ Since she's apparently not going to let go of the ice pack anyway, he lowers his hand and glances away a little. ]
Besides, I deserved it anyway. Even if it should maybe have come from you.
no subject
her hands shake slightly, her eyes are burning holes into the floor as she listens to him. looking out for her, huh? aren't they all. knights in shining armour for a lady who doesn't want them to pick up their swords on her behalf, but wants them to teach her how to use one herself. a samurai defending her sounds so romantic, and once upon a time, that's all she would've wanted. but this? not what she wanted at all. and if someone would just ask her, for once, what she really wants...]
I appreciate that they're looking out for me, but they should take care of me before picking fights with others.
[once more, she sighs, and even though he's not looking at her, she gazes at him.] You didn't deserve it. There's nothing you've done to me that warrants a bloody nose. Not from Isao, not from Aikuro, and never from me. [she knows why he thinks he deserved that, but it was silly for her to get upset over it in the first place. she was being greedy, she became too attached to someone who didn't want what she did, she let herself be hurt. if anything, she deserves to be punched in the face for making this mess.]
no subject
Is it going to end soon? ]
And maybe you thinking that is exactly why they came here. Because if you won't tell me what an ass I am, at least they can.
[ He brings his hands up, this time to grab her wrist with one and the ice pack with the other. Really, he can hold it up himself, so he takes a step back at the same time as he tugs her hand away. ]
That's enough, Milly. I can hold an ice pack myself.
no subject
keeping her anger in check is becoming increasingly more difficult, and she bristles up at his hand on her wrist. but she holds her tongue, waiting until she can look at him calmly, her voice holding a bit of an edge when she speaks again.]
I would've told you if I thought you were being a prick. Do you think I wouldn't?
no subject
At least he's more familiar with that kind of edge to a voice.
Now he's just confused, though. The gears in his mind are practically visible as he frowns at her. See, he's trying. Trying to figure out how she wouldn't think he was being a prick, because sometimes when he thinks he's done something horrible others don't agree. The thing is, in that case he was intending to be. Sort of. He wanted to let her down as gently as possible but ...
You don't just tell someone you don't want them in some way without them getting hurt from it. And it's not even that he wouldn't want it. Just ... Yeah. Point is, usually he can see the other side.
But now he really just doesn't get it.
So after several long moments, he speaks again. ]
I'm trying to figure out how you could not think I was being a prick, but I'm coming up with nothing.
[ Women.
EVERYBODY BUT YOU THINKS HE WAS BEING A PRICK, MILLY. ]
no subject
she doesn't want to explain. she doesn't want to make this any worse for him or her own heart... but she might as well get it out.]
Because I was the one that pushed you into doing that. I asked for something you didn't want to give, and instead of handling it like an adult, I let myself get hurt by it.
[but it's not just about sleeping with him again, is it? it's about him casting her aside after she had been so vulnerable with him. that's what hurt her the most. but she had scared him, backed him into a corner. how could she ever blame him for reacting like that?]
You did what you had to do. I'm the one who made everything awful. If anything, I'm the prick.
no subject
That's ... not really what ...
[ Sigh.
He turns away, opening the fridge to dig out a carton of strawberry milk. ]
How were you supposed to read my mind? Look, maybe it could have gone differently. Maybe we could have both handled it some other way, I dunno. But you're not a prick for asking.
[ Sure, it had scared him but ... That's not her fault.
He puts down the ice pack long enough to open the carton and stick a straw in there. ]
My reaction isn't your fault.
[ It's so many other things, all piled up in a mess. Like everything he is. ]